When one mother asked for advice in a Facebook mothers group I belong to, I never expected an answer that was so sincere, honest and valid, that it compelled me to ask permission to share it on the Buzz.
The original post was from a mother who was experiencing rejection from her baby girl. The mother had gone back to work – a necessity her baby couldn’t understand. The heartache from the rejection which followed each day after work was enough to seek some advice from our shared online community.
To offer solace, encouragement and advice from personal experience, Alice replied with this:
“I found this to be the hardest part of parenting so far. The rejection. It honestly hurt my heart more than any breakup I ever had. I went through this with Oliver a few months after Luka was born (when he was about 2). He basically wanted nothing to do with me, didn’t want me to play with him, care for him, get him out of bed, etc. If I did, he would scream and push me away, totally losing it. He only wanted his Dad or my Mum.
My initial reaction was one of, “well, f** it, at least Oliver loves me,” and wanted to keep my distance so he couldn’t hurt me. It took a lot of soul searching, but in the end, I just kept telling myself that I am his Mum and no matter what he throws at me, I am just going to throw pure love back.
Because I want him to know that I love him when he doesn’t love me, that I love him at his worst, that no matter what he does or says, I will always love him because I am his Mum and my love is unconditional even when I am hurt.
I know that ‘unconditional love’ is a cliche, and it seems so easy in the easy times, but loving when you are being so hurt is something I had to learn. It was hard, but I can truly say that we have come out of the other side and I feel like I am more bonded with him because of it. But nothing, nothing made me feel better while in the midst of it. No amount of reading, no amount of being told it was a phase. I was never okay with it until it was over.
That said, I am proud of how I handled it, even on the days I wanted to give up on being a Mum, feeling like a total failure (I’m a SAHM and my kids hate me…wahhh). So, I’m sorry for rambling, but I just wanted to say you are not alone. This is really, really common. It feels like the worst thing in the world. But it will get better. I promise. Hang in there. She really loves you. You are her Mum. Her only one.”
Is rejection from your child something you’ve experienced? If you have something to add to the conversation, leave a message at the bottom of this post.